Christmas and New Year!

Hello everyone,

Apologies for neglecting my blog, I have been very busy but this is no excuse I know!

I will try to summarise my life over the past 7 weeks as a lot has been going on that I haven't told you about.

Well, the end of November saw a lot of activity at St. Anthony's as the Home and the two local schools wound down for the end of the year - both literal and academic in Africa. The older children had exams to sit, and I had exams to invigilate, which was marginally more interesting for me - a first-timer - than it was for the other, seasoned teachers at the school. But standing in a boiling hot, tin-roof class with 60 teenagers, watching them scribble away, is I think, a fair time to draw a comparison with watching paint dry. But then again, it was nice to feel useful and I only had to endure it on a handful of occasions!

The approach of Christmas was a very busy time for me as I had undertaken the challenge of buying presents for the children of St Anthony's with money donated by friends and family in the UK. The response from everyone was overwhelming, and I can hardly begin to express my heartfelt thanks to everyone for such an amazing response. All together I received the grand total of £645!! Spread between the 88 children at the Home this was about £7 a head! The purchasing of 88 presents was for me, a confessed shopaholic, some of the best fun I have had in South Africa. The first collection of money I spent in South Africa before the children left for the holidays and required 2 mammoth trips to the shops, but with all the spending being in a single store called Jet. This is the South African equivalent of Primark, with clothes of a similar standard but with a better range and all in lovely bright colours. I had expected to be able to get a lot for the money out there but in reality clothes are not cheap out there, and better deals are to be had in the UK supermarkets clothing ranges. I guess the reason for this is that the proportion of the South African population who have the disposable income to fuel a demand for clothes on the almost weekly basis that we have here in the UK, is tiny in comparison. Clothes are a luxury to most africans and something which you might only purchase a few times a year. Therefore with the demand being so much lower, clothes are not produced in the same high volumes that we have in the UK which has driven the prices down and produced cheap clothing ranges in Tesco, Sainsburys, Asda and of course Primark.

Therefore, my second collection of money, which arrived too late to give the children presents before Christmas, I decided to spend in the UK. This I think, was a great move as I have got more for the money than I could out in SA, and of a better quality, and from a larger variety of shops. The children will also, I'm sure, appreciate that it has come from the mythical 'overseas' that they all fantasise about - though I have tried to put them right by telling them you don't meet David Beckham and his fellow team mates on the streets of England, and we suffer from extremely pitiful amounts of sun [they only need to see how pasty white I am to realise the truth of that statement]. Nevertheless, the stock of leggings, hoodies and funky plimsoles will certainly go down well and make them feel they are wearing up-to-the-minute fashions. I will do my best to capture the happiness which this will bring them by taking photos but I guess it will be hard to do justice to the way a present can trully make these children feel so special. In our society, our children are constantly flooded with presents, new clothes, new toys and games, that it is hard to realise what a reaction these children have. They will have virtually never received a birthday present or christmas present in their life, and this is not just a poverty issue but, I was surprised to learn, a cultural issue.

In Zulu culture you do not celebrate birthdays. It is as simple as that! Therefore Christmas, the birth of Jesus, passes by almost just as unnoticed. Perhaps this is an unfair description, but certainly the form of celebration we have which centres around presents, is not one that they enter into. They mark christmas with a meal with their family but turkey, stuffing and christmas pud are a mystery to them. The people I know are extremely religious and many are devoted Catholics but those I spoke to on Christmas day had not marked the day by attending mass. Whereas in England, all those who never go to church the whole year round, find their way on the 25th!

So the presents which the children recieved will have been doubly special to them I assure you. They are so well cared for at the Home and the care workers are so loving and kind, but sometimes, with so many children, treating them as special individuals and not a group, is hard to maintain.

There is a big cupboard at the Home where all donations of clothes are sent to be sorted by the manager, Pumisele [my African mother, as I like to call her!]. A few times a year the children are called down in groups according to their age and clothes are handed out. Nothing is bought specifically with a child in mind, and often a skirt or jumper has seen more than one or two children in the course of its existence. I happened to be witness to one of these 'present giving' sessions as I walked past the corridor with the clothing cupboard off it. Pumisele was sitting on a chair in the hallway with a pair of new/nearly new, shoes on the floor in front of her and called forward a girl to try them on. They looked a little tight so she asked her to step out of them and called another girl to try them on. Still not satisfied she asked another girl to give the shoes a try. After the third try, each of the girls stood there, eyes eagerly searching the pensive face of Sis Pumi, waiting for her to deliver her verdict and award the shoes to the lucky Cinderella who fitted them best! She pointed at the lucky girl, pointed at the shoes and dismissed them all. The other two girls clamoured around, imploring Sis Pumi to find a pair for them but she almost without words, refused them and stood up to lock the cupboard door. I could see on her face, the truth of decades of work as a dedicated manager of the Home. No matter how much you give, how much you love, how much you help, sometimes you get the overwhelming feeling that it is never enough. There is always someone you can't get round to helping in the same way as you have helped another. There is always a child who wants more, who needs more, and most of all, deserves more. Sis Pumi has had to steel herself to the fact that she must do her best, and that must be enough. As much as we all want to, we cannot help everyone, but we must not let this depress us, or let us feel bad for the help that we do give.

Handing out 30 presents to 30 of the 88 children before Christmas, is actually one of the most horrible things I have ever done. I expected to feel such happiness, and pride in the generosity of my friends and family, but all I could see were the faces of those whose names I didn't call. At the time I didn't know if I could do it, or if there would be any more of a response from the UK, but I couldn't stop myself, I promised them there and then that I would come back after Christmas with presents for every single one of them. Thankfully, thanks to all of you, I have been able to keep that promise and I absolutely cannot wait to give the other 58 children their presents next Saturday. I really hope that I, and everyone who has helped me, will be able to enjoy a sense of achievement and the satisfaction that we did, actually, help everyone!

I've realised I have barely told you anything of what I've been up to for 7 weeks so let me just summarise with...
Mum and Dad arrived on 11th Dec, we had an amazing holiday for 3 weeks. The highlights were the fantastic safari [great lion sighting!] and the end of the trip where we walked out to Cape Point [most south westerly point of Africa and, apologies to Cornwall, a damn sight better than Lands End!] and rode to the top of Table Mountain...absolutely spectacular.
Flew back to Heathrow on New Year's Eve and drove up to Northumberland for my brother Simon and Lauren's wedding. It was a simply perfect day, beautiful bride, amazing venue, lots of snow to make it a WHITE white wedding, and one of the nicest gatherings of friends and family that I can ever imagine. I have already appointed Lauren as my chief wedding planner and know that if my wedding day is even half as special as their's I will be a very lucky girl.

So now, I am 5 days away from flying back to South Africa and have a lot of packing to do! 3 suitcases this time, 2 of clothes for the children and 1 containing my life for the next year! Well, not quite, a least a lot of my stuff is still in my cottage at the Home, but this time I am going prepared with winter clothes as my stereotype of a permanently sunny Africa where all you needed was shorts, has been blown out of the water. Anyone planning to visit South Africa for the World Cup, you have been warned! June/July is the coldest time of year, you'll need jeans, jumpers and jackets...trust me!

Happy new year to everyone, I wish you all the best for a very successful 2010.
Please keep in contact, on here, via facebook, email, or snail mail...I will be missing you all over the next 11 months and thinking of you all the time.

Much love, see you on 19th Dec! love Becky xxxxxxx